The Guide To Everywhere and Nowhere [Segment 2] (Chapter 5)

 Megumi, Vincent and Alexander all descended through the spiral staircase, it seemed too long, Vincent thought, already annoyed by having to go down so many steps. The staircase was endless, and made him feel like he had been walking for a good time, while made him feel like he had just gotten down on the first step, it was confusing, a confusing staircase, and dusty, a dusty and confusing staircase.

" Is this thing endless? " Vincent said, under his breath as he descended;

" Nope! We have arrived " Megumi said, closing her phone and stepping two steps forward, giving room to Vincent;

" What... " Vincent said, and almost fell as he stepped on the floor, thinking it was only another step of the stairs, luckily he was rescued before falling;

" Woah! Easy there, Pal! " Alexander said, grabbing Vincent's arm to stop his fall, he seemed genuinely worried, at least that was what Vincent thought when he saw the other's face; " these stairs are kinda tricky, I almost fell at least twelve times " he added, giving Vincent a smile of reassurance;

" Uhh... Thanks... Alexander... " Vincent said, scratching the back of his head, a bit embarrassed from falling right in front of Alexander and having to be rescued;

They both looked at each other with yellowish smiles, not knowing what to say or how to act after this awkward moment, luckily, Megumi cut through the tense and dense mist of embarrassment with a cough; Vincent and Alexander quickly stood straight and start to walk towards her, remaking the old walking formation line.

The second floor, as it seemed, was filled with books, of different formats and sizes, some seemed new, some seemed as old as time, Megumi would be guiding the way, like someone experienced on walking in that space, but barely paid attention to anything or spoke something about where they were, this was Alexander's job. With a heavy hand on Vincent's back, he would spin the man to the sides, point at something and explain as they walked, Vincent felt like he was inside a washing machine of information, being spun all the time.

As confused as he was, Vincent could grasp some things, the first – or rather third floor was filled with rebirth log and records, telling every single rebirth of every single soul, where they were sent, when they were sent, how they were sent, and how did the company explained it to them depending on their last belief system, truly a bunch of paperwork and a lot of job; the second floor, where they were walking, had records about every single soul and life, where they were, when they first had their lifes (all recorded individually on books) and even where was their last life, according to Megumi, the company employees had their own section, detailing their last lifes, since they would be in the afterlife ' forever '.

" You are sure we cannot get reborn? " Vincent asked, looking at Alexander with doubts, as they all walked through an isle full of medieval-looking books;

" We actually can but only as a fish " Alexander said, clarifying something that was rather unfortunate or uncomfortable, his face twisted as Vincent's face twisted with confusion;

" A fish ? But... Why !? " Vincent asked, confused, thinking it was some sort of joke;

" And it's a lame one " Megumi added, looking quite bored, " they do this so we don't actually want to leave. Plus we have to pay to be reborn, so, totes not worth it " Megumi said, now actually with her eyes on the two;

" This sucks " Vincent said, walking;

" Everything sucks here, love " the woman said, and meant every word, then just kept walking like nothing had happened;

Vincent opened his mouth to say something more about the subject, but closed it back when he felt aware of Alexander, who had died drowned, and his hand, now more heavy, on Vincent's shoulder, so he decided to stay quiet. The trio kept walking through the isles, Vincent looked at everything he was pointed, like a child in a museum, specially because, not happy to be handsome, Alexander had a handsome voice, like those radio men Vincent's grandma used to listen at full volume every morning, waking poor Vincent up in the summer when he was a child.

As Vincent thought of his grandma, he felt a bitter taste in his mouth, she was still alive – well, she was in the hospital, but alive in a way, when he, apparently, died, making Vincent wonder how she was, and almost cried, it was Alexander's hand, squeezing his shoulders, that kept him grounded without tears, ' how can someone be so damn perfect!? Good looks, soothing voice and comforting touch! That's so unfair! ', Vincent would think, his mouth bitter with envy and something more, he could only look away, trying to ignore Alexander.

A lot of walks and another hell of set of stairs after, the trio finally got to the first floor, which, according to Megumi, was focused solely on Costumer Service and complaints reports, plus, all of the Afterlife's terms and conditions and sets of rules, it was sorted by afterlife, time and type.

" Get used to this floor, it's basically your department's floor " she said, and giggled playfully as her eyes met Vincent, who simply decided to ignore her tease, focusing on another subject, pointed by her;

" What is my job anyway? " Vincent asked, going through lines and lines of shelves with piles of unsorted paperwork towering in front of them, as the three looked for something;

" We get calls with complaints, questions and problems, like lost souls or something along the lines, and we have to help them understand and solve them, plus, file reports on every single problem and record every single call log. " Alexander answered, again with that toothpaste advertisement smile, making Vincent dread in disgust;

It was truly hell, Vincent was convinced, and that weird lady had lied to him, lied to him with every single word about him not being set for any afterlife, becaus this was certainly hell. What did they mean with dying and having to work solving some afterlife sorted souls problems?? As if Vincent didn't have his own to deal with!! It was truly depressing and gave him physical pain only to think about. He got another migraine, the health insurance would be of good use for him, as it seemed.

Fortunately, before Vincent could complain from his headache, he was standing in front of another elevator, Megumi and Alexander now on his sides, as if trying to not let Vincent scape the tour while they waited for the elevator to come once again. It came. The doors opened, revealing someone inside it, wearing the same plain office wear everyone wore, the person, some androgenous creature, nodded before walking right past them, with a cart full of documents, Alexander, nor Megumi paid any attention to the person and just entered the elevator, bringing Vincent with them.

Megumi, with that long finger with improperly enormous clip on nails, lingered on the buttons before pressing one of them and sliding her finger through all the others, she did that mention at least three times; after pressing all the buttons like a child, going from 290 until 152, Megumi turned to the two men accompanying her, flashing them a playful smile.

" Okayyy, Vince!! Here are some floors, we will do an office haul!! " She said, winked and stroke a pose;

" But how are we going to go though all of these floors? " Vincent asked, and felt a bit foolish moments after;

" Have you ever heard of Animaniacs ? " Alexander asked, to which Vincent answered positively with a nod, " so, remember that part where Yakko sings about every single country? " He added, one more question;

" Yes... But what does this have to to do with office hauls? " Vincent asked, confused and not getting what they meant;

" We are going to name every single floor of the second part of the building for you! " Megumi said, cheefully, as both Alexander and her filled the sides of Vincent's vision of the elevator doors;
" Wait... WHAT!? " It was all Vinecnt could say before hearing the ' ding ' of the doors opening;
And then, for the thirty five minutes, Alexander and Megumi proceeded to name each one of the one-hundred and thirty-nine floors, adding some very confused employees, of the second part of the Company's building. When the three reached floor 151, Vincent's head was spinning like crazy, he had a headache so bad that he thought he might die - again - or faint due to exaustion of thinking, it was worse than when he was in college, or when his colleagues would drag him out to celebrate some pointless shit with them, overwhelmed was a far too simple word to express how Vincent was feeling, but, at least, he had learnt some things:
Firstly, his division of the Call Center had, at least, five full floors to be called theirs, and his one was the third;
Secondly, there were two other floors above 151 that served food, and on almost every office there was a little vending machine with fair prices, according to Alexander;
Thirdly, the HR was huge, taking at least ten floors, since there was one floor for each division, Vincent's one was the 255, or eighth;
Fourthly, Grim Reapers were real and had THIRTY floors only for them. According to Megumi, it was like a smaller version of the company, and this is why they would not be stopping there;
Lastly, white was the favourite colour of this world, Vincent felt grateful for not having physical eyes, because the whiteness of this world would've blinded him.

The Guide to Everywhere and Nowhere [Segment 1] (Chapter 4)

 Megumi and Alexander were almost crying from laughing, even some others nearby turned to look at the trio, some laughs leaving their lips, Vincent just bited the interior of his mouth, looking away, a bit ashamed, and before he could say anything, Alexander's arms went around Vincent's shoulders, holding this one closer, almost too close.

" Hey, Vincent, approach slowly, pal " Alexander said, smiling a very shiny smile, the ones Vincent used to see on toothpaste ads;

" But... She's... Her clothes... They're... " Vincent mumbled, in a loss of words from the very odd situation where he has made a fool of himself, Alexander laughed once more;

" Ooh my God. " Megumi said, covering her mouth with the back of her hand, where she held a phone; "What's about them? it's a style, silly!! Haven't yu never seen a skirt before??" Megumi said, a little acid and sarcastic, she leaned forward with one brow up;

Vincent went through at least thirty shades of red, quite embarrassed from what the woman might be suggesting, he could only open and close his mouth like a fish out of the water. Again, before even a single wave of sound could even be able to travel out of Vincent's vocal cords, Megumi leaned back and sighed, as if she was tired of laughing, then shifted the weight of her body from one lag to the other, and proceeded to scroll on her phone.

" This was funny and all, but, Alex, what are you doing with him? " She asked, scrolling idly on her phone, seeming quite bored, " add me and Alex on ChatBubble, Vincent, by the way " Megumi added, turning her phone screen to Vincent, with a QR code and the app name, small, and her name;

" I'm not with- " Vincent started saying, patting his pockets, thinking that his phone wouldn't be there but surprised to actually find it, inside of his pocket, on the same side he always putted it; " What is this doing here? " He asked himself, and proceeded to try turning it on, the phone was scattered as it was when he was still alive, What's funny, ironic and somewhat calming;

While Vincent was trying to turn his shitty phone on again, Alexander grabbed his phone and opened it, scrolling fast.

" Ooma ordered me to guide him through the facility —here, Vince, add me — wanna tag along? " He said and quickly grabbed his contact information, turning the phone to Vincent, for him to get his number;

Vincent, who had finally managed to turn that historic phone on, unlocked his phone and dialed, very slowly because the phone was still starting, have patience, Alexander's phone number, then proceeded to try scanning Megumi's QR code; only of it to not work, his phone was very old, too old to even have the technology for scanning QR codes, besides, he didn't even have that 'ChatBubble' thing downloaded, truly a huge struggle.

" I'm in. Doing anything but my job right now is my priority " Megumi said, laughing sarcastically as she flipped her phone, closing it, after Vincent finally managed to add her and Alexander;

" Hah! You're truly insufferable! " Alexander said, letting out a big laugh, that type of laugh big men do, putting the hands on his hips and learning a bit backwards, he meant no harm at all in any of his words;

" Indeed I am " she answered, tossing that long mass of bleached curls she called hair, full of herself;

Vincent agreed with Alexander even more about her, but he meant a bit of harm.

Vincent could only put his phone, which was hot enough to fry an egg, on his pocket, before Alexander turned him to the left and started walking, with Megumi following along. He didn't know whether to cry from being squeezed, to be happy to be squeezed by a real life greek God, or to cry from forced socialization, but was dragged through a irritatingly bland office corridor where the light gray plastic walls of the cubicles, with just a few opening for inter-cubicle corridors closed his right side vision, and a gray, that sad gray tone shitty places have, wall with some plants on the ground leaning against it and one single water dispenser, closed his left vision ray. It was utterly depressing, Vincent thought, but the suffering was short, and quickly Alexander turned him to the left and the three of them entered on the second elevator of the day.

" Vince, pay attention " Megumi started, after clicking on a bunch of buttons on the elevator, turning to look at the guy she was talking to, " there are three hundred floors, as Alex must've said already, they're divided into two sections just like the whole Soul City is divided into the Passing River district and the White all White district " Megumi said, raising a finger up and pointing at many directions, as if she was pointing to a diagram in a white board, or at some imaginary drawings that appear in manga and anime, she only stopped speaking when she saw Vincent's face twist with the horrible names;

" Who the hell gave those names? " Vincent asked, in between his teeth, with a whole lot of mockery;

" This is a question we both ask ourselves ever since we showed up here, but the names are indeed a piece of shit " Alexander said, smiling a yellowish smile with mockery;

" Anyways, shitty names away, the Call Center you guys work is in the top part, with management and more officely-y departments, not to mention the high bosses, they're also in the top floors! " Megumi added, clarifying about locations, just in time for the elevator to let out a loud 'ding' and for the doors to open, " here we are " she said, finally, smiled and stepped away from the elevator;

Vincent, who took at least five seconds more to absorve all that information and that they had just arrived somewhere, was just carried out of the elevator by Alexander, who, finally, let go of him, allowing Vincent to breath and process the pain, something he thought it would be Impossible to feel since he was dead, of having his shoulders squeezed and almost folding in half by the vertical way. In front of Vincent, an almost endless line of shelves full of documents and boxes stretched to all sides, it looked like an infinite archive, he even sneeszed by reflex when tought about the level of dust on that place.

Megumi and Alexander giggled and started walking through the archives, the first one in front of Vincent, the second one behind him, guiding him through the archives. Megumi only guided them through the halls, squeezed by boxes and folders with billions of names, while Alexander pointed to everything and explained, very in detail, to Vincent. He told Vincent that all of these folders and boxes belonged to souls and were, mostly, information log about every single living being in the whole existence ever since the begging of time, which was a long time according to Alexander, a comment so silly that made Vincent chuckle and smile.

" The Archives have a total of three ever expanding and endless main floors, which can stretch into as many directions as needed, since the Earthly physics do not apply here " Alexander said, as the three of them stepped out of one hallway to enter a huge space with some desks, probably for studying and annotations;

" Like a non-Euclidean space? " Vincent asked, looking at Alexander for some time, before he felt as if he had spoken nonsense;

" Yes... " Alexander said, looking away and making his word longer than usual for a moment, " we could picture it that way " he added, smiling, looking at Vincent's eyes with a bit of amusement;

" What's a ' non-Euclidean space ' ? " Megumi asked, using her phone screen light as a flashlight as they all headed towards a set of spiral stairs;

" It's a type of space where the usual rules of physics and geometry don't apply, as this place stretches endlessly to everywhere while still keeping the structure of three floors, I thought of this concept " Vincent said, explaining quite calmly as they all descended through the spiral stairs, holding the handrails and watching every step;

" Oh, that's... Cool... I guess... " Megumi said, clearly not understanding what he had spoken, at least Alexander seemed to understand him;

The afterlife has beautiful people and I'm just a fish (Chapter 3)

 What Vincent saw made him even more speechless, a man who could be a model, his face was perfect, square and sharp like an greek statue, his body was visibly sculpted, in a natural and almost intricate way, not too flashy but still visibly strong muscles, his eyes were hazel, not light brown that get lighter when crossing light, hazel, just like his hair, stylishly messy, almost effortless, curls that did not reach his eyes, on a dark blonde colour, to make everything worse, his skin was olive and looked like it had been tanned, beach tanned, as if he had been part of the 'Mamma Mia! ' film. Vincent was left speechless and completely jealous, he himself was a completely ordinary man, he had a little belly, since never found time to work out or to eat properly, wasn't very tall, pale as a ghost, and with the mildest build ever on a man, He felt like a failure close to the man on the door.

" Alexander, hello, I called you, yes. Would you be a darling and show our new hire, Mr. Vincent Vanlore, the Call Center? " Mrs. Ooma said, sweetly smiling, Vincent's face dropped even more;

" Of course, Mrs. Ooma " Alexander, the model man left the door frame and walked towards Vincent, with a beautiful smile and a great employee attitude, " hi, pal, come with me, please " Alexander said, and waited for Vincent;

Vincent did a yes with his head, speechless, faceless, and stood up. Alexander just smiled and started to walk away, waiting for Vincent to just tag along, what he did, somewhat baffled for so many discoveries, including having to work at COSTUMER SERVICE of all places, he didn't know whether laugh or cry, his situation was terrible, and to be worse he had this absolute Greek God as a guide.

" Now that we left, hi, my name is Alexander Hawke, pleased to meet you" he said, smiling brightly to Vincent while they walked away from the office, on the corridor;

" Vincent Vanlore, it's my pleasure " Vincent said, very embarrassed and shy, he was never a talkative guy;

" How old were you, Vincent Vanlore? " Alexander asked, trying to keep the small talk, even joking a bit by saying the other's full name;

" Thirty four, and you? " Vincent said, daring to look at the other for some seconds, " but me being old is not a reason for you to be formal, call me just by my first name " he added, trying to sound cool, but just embarrassed;

" I was twenty seven, living my best life " Alexander said, kind of angry, reminiscing his living time as they both walked in that long corridor, guiding Vincent, " and how did you get here? " He asked, seeming to be enjoying the talk;

" Apparently I was hit by a car while going home from work on a very rainy day " Vincent said, focusing on how foolishly he died, rather than on the other;

" Phew, what a shitty death, man! " Alexander laughed, as they stopped in front of some elevator's doors;

Vincent just stared him, partially hurt, but he couldn't blame the other, instead, he just scoffed and kept the conversation going.

" Indeed, it was. How did you die? " Vincent asked, curious and quite comfortable with the other;

" Drowned, on the sea " Alexander answered, his tone bittersweet, almost painful, but in a way that gets to your bones and kill them;

Vincent felt like the absolute shit, all his remaining dignity and face were lost because of his words, but, before he could anything else to make them less shitty, the elevator opened it's doors with a little ding sound, and they both stepped inside. Luckily, there were just the two of them there, so, no one else would have their day ruined by Vincent's shitty talk.

" We are on the 295th floor of three hundred, the Call center is on the 165th to 230th, and ours is the 187th " Alexander clarified, back to his usual nice demeanor, looking at Vincent with a cute smile;

Vincent's heart skipped a beat or two when he heard 'our' meaning he would work with Alexander the Greek God who he had just lost face with, he couldn't find a place to hide, but wanted very much, so, he just nodded and said something silly and generic like "oh, a lot of floors" or "we will need strength to climb so many stairs when we have a blackout hahaha" just so the other one wouldn't notice.

Talking about noticing or not, Vincent was so absorbed on his own deal that he didn't even notice that he and Alexander had stopped, the doors opened making a loud noise, which, added to it's annoying ding, announced that they had arrived. The doors showed a large, seemingly endless cubicle plantation filled with the sound of chatter, the noise of telephones ringing and a lot of typing.

" Is it here? " Vincent asked, already feeling his energy be drained away just by looking at this he'll;

" Yep. Welcome home, Vincent " Alexander said, quite sarcastic, standing beside Vincent, trying to keep a decent smile;

Vincent groaned and turned to the other, opening his mouth to ask about his workstation, but, a loud sound of heels started to approach them at an insane velocity and suddenly a very flamboyant woman appeared out of somewhere, jumping on Alexander, who hugged her tightly, lifting her on the air.

" Heeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaa! Alex! You are back! Is everything alright?? " She asked, less worried and more eager to hear something, her voice was loud and as shiny as her, Alexander put her down and scratched the back of his head;

"Hi to you too, Megumi, I am alright, thanks for asking " he answered, quite happy to see her, they seemed close, like old acquaintances, Vincent tried to vanish into air but was grabbed by Alexander's arm and pulled closer to both of them, " Mrs. Ooma asked me to grab this one, he's new here, Vincent Vanlore. Quite a good fella " he said, smiling as he pointed at Vince for the woman to see;

While he was on display and being kept captive by Alexander, who held his shoulders, Vincent took the time to look at the happy woman in front of him. She seemed shorter than him, her skin was strongly tanned, almost artificial, and her body was skinny, while having some curves here and there, her eyes held a lot of makeup on a flashy and almost weird way, since it was all white and string with something under the eye and huge eyelashes, her uniform was slightly open and her skirt was awfully short, she wore heels, high stockings and visible gather belts, her hair, obviously bleached or a wig, was all up on a high flowy bun with some bangs on one side, and like all of that was not enough, she had huge pink clip on nails. Vincent couldn't help but feel deeply uncomfortable by her look, and he didn't even try to hide it, but she didn't seem to care and just bowed down politely, making her hair fall to the front than get tossed back as she stood to her full height once more.

" Hai! I'm Megumi Okeshi, nice to meet yuuu! " She said, sweetly and cheerfully, and Stoke a pose, " so, how did yu die? " She asked, swinging on her heels;

" Hello... " Vincent said, smiling a yellow smile, trying to sound polite at least, " I was hit by a car after leaving work... " He added, not wanting to say much, staring at her outfit and trying to contain himself from judging the poor girl, " What happened to you!? " He said, finally, looking at her with wide eyes;

Megumi looked at him, eyes wide open, Alexander looked at him, eyes wide open, they stared at Vincent for maybe three seconds before starting to hysterically laugh, finding Vincent utterly foolish and funny.

Surprise! You Died! Surprise! You're hired (Chapter 2)

 "I am WHAT NOW !? " Vincent said, screaming almost, totally shocked, full of disbelief, if he wasn't dead he would've died there;

Mrs. Ooma, who now seemed to be a very patient woman, pinched the bridge of her nose, finding this boy a very noisy one. With a sigh, she looked back at him, with exhausted eyes.

" Dead. You Died. " She said, bored and tired; " When you were going back from work, a car lost control, since it was raining heavily, and hit you, you're dead, Mr. Vanlore " she explained, trying to answer all of his possible questions before he could make them;

Vincent couldn't believe his ears, he left out a sarcastic laugh, looking around, trying to find cameras, denial was a strong feeling on him.

" No, no, no, no, you're joking, right? You must be! I... I can't be dead!" Vincent started to say, shuttering and freaking out, he even stood up, gripping his hair; "The... The lady out there! She said this is a job interview! How can I be in a job interview and dead at the same time!?" He asked, looking at the woman, hoping she would say it was a joke;

Mrs. Ooma didn't seem to be, she only looked, no, stared, at him, like an angry mother, not taking her bratty son's tantrums anymore.

" I am not, you died, accept it. " She said, her patience long gone, Vincent could even see her hair getting whiter from stress; " and yes, it's also a job interview - even though I would call it more of a job assignment - since you're a non-believer, no hell, heaven, purgatory or whatever for you, you're going to work. For us, for all eternity " Mrs. Ooma explained, now fully, not leaving room for questions or complaints;

Vincent coughed blood, finding hard both to believe and to not believe on what he heard, he could accept his death, it seemed rather real at that moment already, but the work part? This was almost pathetic! Saying someone is dead, dragging them into some work interview only to say that they're obligated to work for them!? Total joke material, truly unbelievable, Vincent could've been pathetic on his life, but he had some little self respect to spare.

"I am not working for you! This is total bullshit!" Vincent declared, looking angrily at the woman, like she had told him a very inadequate joke, then making mention to leave;

" We provide our workers with house, transport ticket, food tickets, health insurance that covers 100% - even though I doubt this will be of use - , thirty days of paid vacation and no policy of 'sick days', up to fifteen days, you're paid even though you do not attend due to sickness if you show us a medical report " Mrs. Ooma said, after sighing, with a sharp expression, like she had done an irrefutable offer, which was plenty what she had indeed done;

Vincent not only stopped on his tracks, but also turned to look at the woman with a very pleased face, not even in his past life he had such a great job opportunity, he wouldn't deny it, so, as quickly as he walked away, he walked back towards the table and sat on the chair, all posed and smiling.

" Where do I sign? " He asked, smiling ear to ear, sitting on a cute pose, like a troublemaker boy when the visits come to his house, totally fake sweetness;

Mrs. Ooma, who had just convinced the man to stay and work willingly, smiled proud of herself, on that way salespeople do when they hook someone on a dirty deal like a pyramid scheme, and handed Vincent a pen and a five page contract, open on the last page, for him to sign. He grabbed the contract and, despite being very anxious and eager for the benefits, read it all, from the first to the last page, every single clause was read by him beforehand, in order to not allow Vincent to fall on some dirtier scheme than working for Death. Mrs. Ooma's smile begun to fade away from home long Vincent was taking, " sign it already, dammit " she whispered to herself, getting more impatient, it was only after what seemed to be an eternity, he finally signed the paperwork and handed it to the woman across him.

" Here, Mrs. Ooma, is there any other information that you need? " He asked, not even sounding a bit like the hysterical man from two minutes ago;

" Finally! No worries, everything else is already settled, just remember to go get your house sorting with the Benefits Management Department at the end of the day " Mrs. Ooma said, keeping the paperwork on some drawer, and smiling to Vincent as she gave him instructions;

" Yeah, yeah. When do I start? " Vincent, who wasn't listening to anything after 'everything else is already settled', just agreed with her and already asked her something, thinking about how would he rebuild and furnish his new house;

" Today. " She said, quickly, not even giving the poor man, who had been left speechless with his mouth opens and his eyes wide open, time to think," you have just been hired, Mr. vanlore, congrats! " The woman said and proceeded to clap her hands, happy, eerily happy, some confetti even popped out of somewhere, leaving Vincent utterly confused;

" BUT- " He started, but the words were stuck in his throat and all he could do was waving idly;

" No 'but', you're hired, I'll ask someone to help you around " Mrs. Ooma said, cutting all chances for Vincent to complain, while dialing some number, " yeah, send Alexander to my office " she said on the phone, quite used to it, and then ended the call;

Vincent and her kept staring at each other for some time, but, before it became uncomfortable or embarrassing, the door to Mrs. Ooma's office opened and a voice, deep and young with a hint of a foreign accent.

" Hello, Mrs. Ooma, did you call for me? " Said the voice, making Vincent turn to see it's owner;

Where am I and why is it so beige? (Chapter 1)

The last thing Vincent remembers was to be standing on the bus stop, waiting for the bus amidst a very heavy thunderstorm, his feet were drenched and he was shivering, a very different scenario from the one he is currently in, sitting in a very bright and stupidly beige waiting room, his clothes dry, clean, without a single tear and too fancy for him to remember owning or even borrowing, all this while clutching a binder, a very fat binder, on his two hands.
Vincent doesn't remember how he got there, Vincent doesn't remember when he changed his clothes to such fancy ones, Vincent doesn't remember owning a binder, Vincent doesn't understand a thing, and what normal people do when they don't understand shit? They ask, and it's exactly what Vincent did. Looking from side to side in order to find someone, he spotted a very foggy-like lady who seemed to be sitting across a balcon, just like a receptionist or secretary.

"Uuuh... Excuse me, miss" Vincent called, gathering all of his courage;

"Hm? Yes?" Said the woman, looking at Vincent's direction, her face was totally foggy, not even when Vincent squeezed his eyes he could get her features;

"I know I may sound crazy, but, where am I?" He asked, still squeezing his eyes for trying to see how this woman looked;

The woman tilted her head to the side and seemed to be staring at Vincent, probably thinking he was insane or stupid, then, she opened a smile and said:

"The Other Side™ , the number one afterlife life management company, mister" and pointed to a huge name written on the wall behind her; "This is the waiting room for the Job Interview" the lady explained and didn't seem even a bit distressed by Vincent's question;

Upon hearing the words "job interview", Vincent got really starteled, he hadn't applied for ANY job interview, what kind of misfurture was this that Vincent suddently showed up on a job interview!?? Before he could protest, a telephone rang on the lady's desk, the sound echoing across all of the room.

"hm? yes, alright." she said, grabbing the telephone, which was bright red; "Mister, Mrs. Ooma will see you now, it's the third door on your right, good luck" the lady, cheerful under all that fog, said, to Vincent, gesturing to a open door;

He only looked at the woman, still very much like a fog image, and followed her gestures, his eyes met the door, and, as if all this was not enough craziness for him, Vincent just stood up from his chair, feeling his butt flat as a pancake, and walked towards the said door. With a knock on it, he stepped inside a reasonably sized office, full of shelves, books, certificates and other unimportant stuff on it, a large window that showed absolutely nothing but white, like clouds, a table on the middle, two chair on one side and a bigger chair on the other, with it's back to the window, sitting on the chair was a middle aged woman with a bun so tight that even the military women would be jealous.

"Uuuuuhhg... Excuse me? Mrs. Ooma?" Vincent said, stepping inside, a little shy;

"Oh! hello, Mister Vanlore, take a seat please" said the woman, her voice was like a doctor's, which gave Vincent a bit of chills, and she gestures to a chair in front of her;

Vincent sat exactly where he was told to sit, his hands almost bending the poor binder. Tthe woman gave a polite smile and made mention to start talking, but Vincent did not care, he lifted his head and looked at her with all the courage he had on his body.

" Where am I!? " He said, looking straight into Mrs. Ooma's eyes, they were eerily gray, " and don't come to me with 'The Other Side™, afterlife life management' or whatever! I want to know what the fuck is this place and why am I on a job interview!" Vincent added, without even letting the woman say so, his eyes wide and with his hand smacked on the desk;

Mrs. Ooma was serene, immutable, calm, like nothing had happene, she just kept staring at Vincent with her two grey eyes for what seemed to be an eternity, making the boy calm down by pure embarrassment, then, she scoffed, fixed her clothes and placed her hands on her desk, prepared to speak.

" Do you believe in God, Mr. Vanlore? " She asked, raising an eyebrow, too calm to be a simple unrelated question;

" What does this have to - " he started to question but was cut;

" Do you believe in God or not? " Mrs. Ooma insisted, sounding more commanding now, Vincent gulped air;

" No, I don't. " Vincent answered, confused as hell again;

" I expected you didn't, anyway " she answered, too quickly, making Vincent choke a bit, out of pure fear;

Mrs. Ooma, then, started to look for something on a drawer under her desk, with all the calm in the world, as if time was not a problem, and Vincent just stayed eating himself alive of fear. The woman finally found what she was looking for, some papers, she grabbed them and a pen, then setting all that down.

" This is the afterlife, Mr. Vanlore, you're dead. " She said, finally, looking frankly at the man across her;

Vincent's eyes widened and he almost fell off the chair, having to hold tight on the handles to not do so, the binder fell on the floor, forgotten.